My Value Statements

Reading up on how to be a man... you scoff, I give you the beady eye.

Having had no true hero in my life or father figure to emulate; and my friends being mostly single, adolescent/bachelor minded individuals or family oriented people with no time to spare, I am left with the only option at my disposal for learning about the true meaning of manhood. The internet. We cringe together.

No really, how much worse can it be than learning how to count and read from some puppets on tv? I realize the internet is a dangerous and fickle source of information, being 99% untrustworthy. However, relying on my superior intenet skills (toot), flawless judgement (yeah I laughed at that too), and intuitive ability to sift fact from fiction, I have found some sources that seem decent, if not accredited. Though I don't trust accredations any more than cats trust water.

Today's blog is about my Value Statements. As a man, I'm supposed to stand for something. Not just to see farther, or be able to run around. I need to state my values in my own words and adopt them as my personal motto.

I can come back to my declaration and make changes as needed, as I grow and develop, but not standing for anything, waiting for it to be perfect first is really doing nothing at all. Here's Marshall's take on it.

"If what you stand for is resistance in disguise, you'll never get the results you want. If you claim to stand for freedom, but the way this plays out is that you resist being told what to do, you're kidding yourself. If you truly stand for something, you don't need to defend it. You feel the truth of it so completely that it is unarguable, nonnegotiable and simply a given."

So, let's begin with what I feel are important to me.

I don't like clutter. I don't like packing and moving alot of stuff. I don't like buying new anything that can't be recovered from somewhere else and/or repaired. I don't like living in a magazine, unless it's Popular Science or Harrowsmith. I don't like paying big bills for conveinence when I can reproduce those systems and utilities myself cheaper, more efficiently or safer for my family and/or environment. I don't like wasting space, water or energy... ok so far, I have a bunch of dislikes. Would I be resisting these things or fighting to fix them? I don't like being ignored. I don't enjoy being unappreciated. I don't like being told what to do, unless I specifically ask what it is. I really don't like explaining things that I know nothing about or am personally not comfortable with... I'm still getting nowhere.

Time for a little more advice: "Knowing what you stand for is a powerful masculine quality. Taking a stand FOR something is more powerful than taking a stand AGAINST something."

I'm thinking that is a little easier said than done. I need some examples. Marshall's examples are pretty good. "Humor, Growth & Family". For my tastes, I think they're a little too generic and convienent for a man trying to fix his marriage. They worked for him, I'm not arguing their merit. I'm a little jealous that he took Humor. I like Humor. I'm a humorous character. I'm Gregarious! hehe. whoa... did you see that? What did I just say? I'm Gregarious. I'm not just a guy with the name Greg, I almost embody the meaning of the name. Can I use that?

gre·gar·i·ous (gr-gâr-s) adj.

1. Seeking and enjoying the company of others; sociable.

2. Tending to move in or form a group with others of the same kind: gregarious bird species.

3. Botany Growing in groups that are close together but not densely clustered or matted.

[Latin gregrius, belonging to a flock, from grex, greg-, flock; see ger- in Indo-European roots.]

Ok that's not what I was expecting... lets try another source.

1. fond of the company of others; sociable.

2. living in flocks or herds, as animals.

3. Botany. growing in open clusters or colonies; not matted together.

4. pertaining to a flock or crowd.

Origin: 1660–70;

Synonyms:

1. social, genial, outgoing, convivial, companionable, friendly, extroverted.

Ok, those synonyms make more sense. I can relate to all of them. Except convivial, what does THAT mean?

I like to be social, outgoing and companionable. These are qualities I possess. I am friendly and extroverted. But how to put that into a value statement? How to make it my mission to achieve what I am? Ok... made a mistake there. I'm listing qualities where I should be listing values. I should be looking for what I feel is important, not my personality resume. But Humor is Marshall's so why can't I pick Gregarious? How does he put it?

Humour - "I use humour to bring lightness to challenging circumstances and to remind myself and others of the joyful purpose of life."

Ok, let's define my qualities to find more meaning.

friend⋅ly  [frend-lee] – adjective

1. characteristic of or befitting a friend; showing friendship: a friendly greeting.

2. like a friend; kind; helpful: a little friendly advice.

3. favorably disposed; inclined to approve, help, or support: a friendly bank.

4. not hostile or at variance; amicable: a friendly warship; friendly natives.

5. Computers. user-friendly.

com⋅pan⋅ion⋅a⋅ble  [kuhm-pan-yuh-nuh-buhl] – adjective

possessing the qualities of a good companion; pleasant to be with; congenial.

Origin: 1350–1400; ME

So what does this say about me? That I am a friend, kind, helpful, non-hostile, pleasant to be with. Let's for a second add that I adopted the title of Friar which means Brother. I would very much be like a brother to those around me with my supportive, favorable and congenial personality. In short, I'm everyone's brother.

Value #1 - Friar Gregarious: I am friendly, supportive and helpful to my family and friends. I use my strengths to bring others together in harmony. I am everybody's brother.

I like that. I think I'll keep that for now. No time to work on the others. This will have to do for the time being.

Thanks for reading. I very much appreciate my words reaching so many people and would love to hear what you all think of my blog, this entry and all of them.

Friar Greg

Sources:

http://www.theheroprinciples.com/

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/gregarious

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gregarious

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/friendly

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/companionable