How to Cook a Turkey

Ok, this is a month or so late, but it has been floating around in my files for gods know how long and every 6 months or so, I find it, LMFAO and stuff it back in, promising myself that one day I'll share it with someone else. I can't even remember where I picked it up from.

Anyway, here goes.

How To Cook A Turkey

Step 1: Go buy a turkey

Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch or JD. I prefer Rye.

Step 3: Put turkey in the oven

Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey

Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens

Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink

Step 7: Turn oven the on

Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky

Step 9: Turk the bastey

Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get

Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer

Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey

Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours

Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 16: Floor the turkey up off the pick

Step 17: Turk the carvey

Step 18: Get yerslf another scottle of botch

Step 19: Tet the savle an' pour yerslf a glass of turkey

Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out

Julia Childs would shit bricks if she read this.... or she'd lay an egg.

Happy Cooking!

--

Friar Greg